How to have better conversations, part 2

Written By Kristi Hiller

Hello there!

I hope your Christmas was warm and meaningful. 🤗

How did your conversations go? Connected, interesting, fun?

Continuing on from last week's inSight, there’s a bit more from Alison Wood Brooks, Harvard Professor.

Boring people don’t think they’re boring.

The purpose of communication is to not say things we know to other people. It’s about finding things we’re both interested in and learning everything they know about that. This is what it means to be seen and understood. It’s magic.

Barriers to being a good communicator:

  • Being tired - good communication takes effort/energy

  • Time limitations

  • Lack of self awareness

Humans are bad at guessing. The only way to understand another person's mind is to ask them and talk about it.

Here’s a ‘go to’ question Alison likes to ask. Take this to your next visit.
What are you excited about lately?

Men struggle with vulnerability. Conversation without vulnerability can seem really surface and lack depth. Loneliness is worse for men than women. Courage and confidence are required. Men talk about the things they know. Remember vulnerability = connection. (Guys, if you ever hear your lady say 'I don't feel connected to you,' it could be this - you're not asking and/or not sharing).

You can find a lot of interesting questions to ask if you think about it. To deepen, ask follow up questions.

The more roles a person plays in your life, the more complicated communication gets. This is why talking to a stranger can sometimes be so easy. There are no roles, no complications or conflicts of interest.

Long pauses when you don’t know someone very well means the conversation isn’t going well. Later - longer pauses show comfort and that can be nice.

In today's digital age - whoever gets your attention, gets your love.

Great conversations make life worth living.

Talk to you in the New Year!! xoxo

And hey, I understand not every inSights a winner. If you have a topic you'd like me to address, let me know! I'm here to serve!

All my love,
K 💛

Kristi Hiller

I am an energetic gal who is captivated by the human condition. I believe in exploring all life experiences to learn and grow. Throughout my 20+ years of studying and learning to love and accept myself - no matter what, I have come to realize that there is no ‘right’ path or way to experience life, other than head on, with accountability, a sense of humor and lightness, and a knowing that only I can create my own reality. And this is true for everyone. You create your own reality. Let me help you get to yours!

http://www.everythingbeginswithin.com
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Have better conversations!