Hello sweet friend!
These ideas come to you from psychotherapist and relationship expert Sadia Khan. From my own past relationships I can absolutely see the truth in this wisdom on why things worked and where they fell apart.
3 Keys for LASTING LOVE for Women (3 A’s)
Attraction - to him
Admiration - of him
Adoration - from him
3 Keys for LASTING LOVE for Men (3 L’s)
Lust - towards her
Labor - for her - emotional AND financial (you’re invested in her)
Loyalty - faithfulness (reciprocal)
Without all 3 of these keys, the relationship at some point will wither. Maybe you only have 1. Maybe you have 2. The sweet spot of enjoying and wanting to stay in the relationship requires all 3.
This makes so much sense to me. Even looking outside of my own relationships I can see why some are having such a hard time trying to ‘make things work.’
And there is hope! Once you can see what might be missing in your relationship, you can work on it. If someone truly matters to you, and they are worth it, you will want to figure this out and you’ll be able to do this. You may need some help though.
My first suggestion is to look at what part is missing and talk to your partner about how you define these terms. My definition of adoration or admiration might be different from yours, so I can’t tell you what to do. (But your partner sure can!) 😉
My second suggestion is to talk to your partner to see if you are both aligned in these ways and commit to working together to build on the part that needs some refining. It will require some learning to change old patterns or create new ones. It shouldn’t take years to figure this out, but it's ok if it does.
This is a simple guideline to assess the status of your relationship and why things may not be feeling as good as they could.
Love should feel GOOD! Let's keep it simple. It doesn't have to be so complicated.
All my love and support,
K 💛
