Hello darling,
Have you ever felt stuck? Uncertain? Confused? Conflicted?
It doesn’t feel good does it?
Ambivalence is when you have 2 conflicting emotions. You can feel love AND hate. You can appreciate AND resent. It’s like having one foot in and one foot out.
This can happen in relationships and work. It can be the city you live in or your place of work. You can have some needs met but long for more. You can be grateful for the house you’re in, but want a nicer one. You can be happy with your career but desire an increase in your finances. You’re normal.
But staying here feels awful. You’re unclear, unsure and dying for a sign because we all want correct direction. This is the cost of free will. You don’t HAVE to do anything, so often we can get stuck in doing NOTHING. Ugh.
The choices you make have a lot to do with your values. That’s why without knowing your values, choices become harder to make. A big dose of self esteem helps with following your decision also.
I’m a big fan of sharing that there are no wrong decisions. Doing something is much better than staying stuck in my opinion. Action leaves clues (yours and witnessing others).
I’ve been known to not make decisions easily or quickly. Whether it’s a new pair of shoes or what to eat at a restaurant, I take my time. But I do eventually make a decision! Or new flooring. Heck that one took me almost a year!
Did you catch that example? Did you see that wasn’t ambivalence? I made my decision, it just took a while to pull the trigger. Ambivalence is when you don’t make a decision. That’s what causes the pain. Once you make a decision you can plan. Without a plan, you’re stuck.
It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you're torn between your choices. Your choices contradict each other. In today’s world of countless choices, it makes sense.
Make your pros and cons lists if you want. Talk to people. Learn. Gather the data required. But honestly, check your gut. Your intuition. It always knows. Sometimes we just don’t like what we know we have to do. So don’t be pretending to not know what you know.
It doesn’t always show up as a big issue. But small issues not handled do add up. So pay attention and deal with whatever’s got you held up.
You see why knowing yourself is so important? 'Everything Begins Within' my friend! 😉
All my love and patient understanding,
K 💛
