Become aware of your 'internal parts'

Hey there lovely friend!

I’ve heard about IFS (internal family systems) for a while now but haven’t gone deeper with it until now. Dick Schwartz and Sarah Baldwin are great teachers for this work.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-based, non-pathologizing psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s that views the mind as a system of distinct "parts" (subpersonalities) led by a core "Self". It aims to foster harmony among these inner parts—often protective or wounded—to heal trauma, reduce anxiety, and promote self-compassion and mental well-being.

Here are a couple simple questions to get you started. You don’t have to ask yourself these when you’re in the middle of a heightened emotion or distress. Take time once you are calm to dig deeper into yourself and learn what your ‘parts’ are trying to tell you.

1. What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t get ___________.

   (You’ll then learn what that part is trying to protect you from).

2. Ask the parts to open a bit. Create some space for them. If they could talk, what would they say?

3. Get curious about the part that’s negative.

• Go to the feeling of the impulse. Find it in your body.

• As you notice it, how do you feel towards it?

• Let it know how you feel and see how it reacts.

• Ask it what it wants you to know.

• Let it know you hear that, and that you’re going to try to help it, so it doesn’t have to keep doing it, now that you’ve gotten to know it a little bit.

• See how it reacts.

To explain a little more, we have vulnerable parts and protector parts. Your protector parts are there to protect your vulnerable parts. These defend against, armor up and see another as the enemy. (This is actually suppressed anger that goes towards another instead of the anger our younger part has from child/teenhood).

Check in with your protector. Who is it? Get to know them. They aren’t trying to sabotage your life, they're trying to protect your little parts.

Your younger parts may act like they need another to save them, but it’s your adult self it really needs. If another does try to ‘save you’ it can create co-dependency.

Of course we all need love and support but we need to adult our own parts.

We need to re-parent these parts by being both:
a) soft and loving
b) ferociously protective (Sarah Baldwin). How would a loving parent, parent that child?

This truly is just the tip of the iceberg. I believe in the healing journey and this is one of the tools that probably will be something you do, if you haven’t already.

If you desire to dig into this more, I'm available to help in any way I can, to support you.

All my love,
K 💛