Can you eradicate self doubt and criticism?

Hello precious friend,

I know that you have plenty of smarts. And I often wonder, do you have enough love?

This isn’t about romantic love (I know, shocking). This is about feeling loved. Without having to strive, earn, or do something for it.

You’ve lived long enough to know that you can’t solely rely on other people for the love you seek. And if you do, you know they can be taken from you. Then what?

You can feel loved by someone, and so quickly not feel loved by them. Maybe in their tone or lack of attention. But how do you talk to you? What’s that tone? What kind of attention are you giving yourself?

Deep down I do believe you love yourself. I also know how hard you are on yourself at times so this is not yet self love. That’s confusing. How do you love yourself and be hard on you? That in itself is stressful. How can you think highly of yourself, be proud of yourself and your accomplishments and have low self esteem? It all comes down to how to talk to yourself. That private and invisible world of you and you.

Memorize this:
There is no good time to be hard on yourself.

I’ve looked to others for love so that they confirm the ‘I’m lovable’ feeling I have for myself. As if I needed proof or permission.

Can you move past this outer need and towards consistent inner love and acceptance no matter what? Take away all the conditions you’ve placed on yourself.

Life is a profound ‘inner journey.’

Yes, we need others and great relationships are the biggest indicator of happiness. And yet, what does it feel like to be inside of you? The relationship you have to yourself is one of the most important ones!

(Of course own when you screw up or hurt someone - be accountable, apologize. This isn’t ‘I’m wonderful so go fuck yourself.’) Haha.

How are you speaking to yourself? So many people tell me ‘they know’ they need to be kinder to themselves. Do you know the second you say ‘you know’ your brain shuts off? If you really do know then there should be nothing unkind you say to yourself and you probably do some version of this:

1. You are aware of your inner voice and what it’s saying

2. If it’s negative or unkind you stop it

3. You replace it with the truth (not the ego/habit)

The voice of truth is the one that says no matter what, you are precious, you are good, you are kind, you are love and you are loved. You may not always act good, or loving, or kind, but you can still have a high regard for yourself.

And if you don’t, it might be time to find out why.

This is a practice. And it works. If you practice.

Make a decision with absolute conviction that you will no longer be hard on yourself. It will seem louder for a while because you will become more aware of these negative loops. Over time, your self esteem will improve and so will the way you treat others.

Is this a good time to remind you? Everything Begins Within. 😉

If you're still with me, you're doing great.

All my love,
K 💛