What a smart girl knows to do with a man
Hey hey fabulous friend!
Here are a few tips on what I have found to be smart ways to navigate the complexities of love. There’s much more, but this is a taste of what works well.
It doesn’t matter if you’re just starting out in dating or if you’ve been married for a while. You can always begin again. Give each other another chance for you both to show up better.
She would slow down. She’d take her time getting to know someone (if there’s chemistry).
She would let him show up as he is… meanwhile…
She would tell him about herself.
She would stay open and as long as she wants to see him again, she accepts his invite
She witnesses who he is as time goes by. Is he on time? Does he do what he says he’ll do? Is he reliable? Is he honest? How does he live? What’s his social life like? Who’s special to him? What’s important to him? What are some of his habits?
She shares with him the way she needs to be loved. She asks for what she needs so he doesn’t have to guess.
She wants to see growth in the relationship. Working as a team to be honest, vulnerable (open), to fight right, to repair after conflict, to see that evolution and growth occurs as the relationship gets better over time.
She knows if he shuts down to let him have his space to recover. He’ll come back.
She has a full life of her own so she’s not dependent on him for her happiness. He can make her happier, but not responsible for it.
She would appease his sense of adventure and be open to new things in the bedroom.
She would put in effort to look good for him (she knows men appreciate beauty).
She would pray for his happiness everyday.
She would know that she has to either accept what she’s not getting, or move on because she knows that she’ll never be totally fulfilled without it.
She would know to play with her man.
She’d know that men bond through vasopressin and that is derived from figuring things out together, problem solving as a team, or through novelty.
She trusts she’s exactly where she’s supposed to be and her choices matter. And only she can choose her way to her destiny.
She would ask for what she wants without criticizing, shaming or blaming.
She would appreciate everything he does for her.
He pings, she pongs.
She knows his dreams so she can support him.
She’s his lover, not his mother.
She respects him.
