Hey bud,
Life isn’t about getting it right all the time.
I want to remind us both that we are very unique. We have varied external traits like (age, sex, height, social status) and internal traits like (values, happiness, energy, beliefs). These, and so many more, all have to do with what makes people so vastly different. Consider also birth order, upbringing, intelligence, opportunities, experiences, desires, dreams, fears, phobias, hurts and all the other things that affect who we've become.
There's just no way we would do things the same. This is why I think we can often feel misunderstood. And I think it’s ok to be misunderstood. I mean, really, how could anyone possibly understand anyone when we look at what makes us so different? Not bad. Different.
I’m watching one of my friends dating. It’s so fun to watch her get excited about new potential partnerships. I had to apologize 3 times one night as I caught myself trying to tell her what to do! She was happy, excited and very fine with the way she was texting a ton prior to actually meeting them. Not the way I would do it - but who cares? She’s living her life, her way. I’ve got 10 years on her! And I’m a different chick. So of course our dating styles look different. It made me realize again, that if she’s not asking my advice, I don’t need to tell her what to do!
I believe people do what they think is best for the most part. Now, are there ways they could do better? Absolutely. That I see often. But not everyone wants to do better. And that’s ok. And when I see that I think to myself, hey, if I were you I’d do exactly what you would do. And I'm me, so I do what I do.
My mom is a great cook and my sister has followed beautifully in her footsteps. She also has her own unique way. When the 3 of us get in the kitchen it’s fun. But when it hasn’t been fun it’s because at times (when we do things differently) we will tell my sister how we do things. What we see as sharing, she feels as a judgement. I could see how she’d feel that way. It can come across as our way is better. No one likes that. What I’ve learned is ‘what we would do’ unless asked, just doesn’t matter and can actually hurt people. I truly thought it was just sharing.
So, unless someone is asking, maybe it doesn’t matter what I would do. Or what you would do.
Again, you don’t have to get it right all the time. But talk about how you feel, share how you see things, and sometimes you may have to kindly ask someone to not tell you what to do.
Have we become too sensitive? Maybe. This message is to point out why it's sometimes hard to relate and understand others. We aren't mind readers. Some people keep much of what they think in, while others speak easily what's on their mind. We are all vastly different. And that won't be changing.
We all have a highly individualized curriculum. So based on only you, what will you do?
All my love,
K 💛
